Understanding Family Connections

Preparing To Reunite With A Child You Gave Up For Adoption

by Sonia Prescott

Giving up a baby for adoption is a challenging hurdle that some biological mothers must overcome. While you may have processed the emotions associated with the initial adoption, reuniting with your biological child after some time has passed can bring up a new set of emotions that must be dealt with in order to move forward and have a healthy relationship with your child.

Here are three things that you can do to ensure your adoption reunion is a positive experience for both you and the child you placed for adoption.

1. Prepare for the emotional toll of an adoption reunion in advance.

Being able to anticipate some of the emotions that you will face when you are reunited with your biological child will help you process these emotions in a healthy manner prior to your adoption reunion.

It can be beneficial to read stories written by other biological mothers outlining their own adoption reunion experiences. Attending a support group for women who have been reunited with their biological children can also be a great way to uncover fears or anxieties that could affect your own reunion experience.

Preparing in advance for the emotional toll an adoption reunion will take allows you to be more in control of your emotions when it's time to meet your biological child once again.

2. Set boundaries for yourself in advance.

Reuniting with a child you have placed for adoption can bring up feelings of guilt or shame. These feelings can cause biological parents to agree to do things (like meet adoptive families or incorporate a biological child into their own families) that they aren't comfortable with.

It's important that you take some time to think about what you want your relationship with your biological child to look like prior to the reunion. Meeting with a licensed therapist can be a great way to help you work through your emotions and set healthy boundaries for yourself as you prepare to be reunited with the child you placed for adoption.

3. Be prepared to answer difficult questions.

Your biological child will likely have questions about why he or she was placed for adoption. It's important that you are prepared to put your own feelings of guilt, shame, or inadequacy aside and prepare to deal with your child's emotions when answering these questions.

Validating a child's adoptive experience can be challenging for biological parents. Prepare to answer difficult questions about what motivated you to give up your child and give your biological child the freedom to react to your answers however he or she deems fit, and you will begin to build a relationship based on trust and understanding with your child.

Preparing for an adoption reunion can be challenging. Take the time to anticipate your own emotions, set healthy boundaries, and prepare answers to difficult questions before you reunite with your biological child, and you will be able to make your adoption reunion a positive experience.

For more help, get in touch with a business like A Child's Dream.